The Purina Diet?
A friend of mine has a huge Labrador Retriever. It eats a lot, and we went to the store to buy a large bag of dog food. We were in line to check out and a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
The "what a moron!" look on my buddy's face was priceless, and I knew what it meant: he was going to toy with her. He told her that no, he was starting The Purina Diet again although he probably shouldn't -- he said he had ended up in the hospital last time, but that he'd lost 50 pounds before he awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
He told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. He said that the food is nutritionally complete so he was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with his story, particularly a big tall guy who was behind the woman.
Horrified, she asked why he ended up in the hospital -- had the Purina made him sick?
He told her no; he'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking his balls and a car hit him.
The woman turned fire-engine red, and I helped the tall guy up off the floor.
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Tags: amp, balls, diet, dog food, fire engine, intensive care, ivs, labrador retriever, last time, nuggets, orifices, pockets, purina, tubes
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Pretty funny….
Can we say "balls" here?
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
this is kinda old sorry sweetheart ♥
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
funny. – I laughed.
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Very funny
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Received that one from a friend in my email quite some time ago.
I like this one I got the other day:
A college class was told they had to write a short story in
as few words as possible. The instructions were that the
short story had to contain the following three things:
(1) Religion
(2) Sexuality
(3) Mystery
Below is the only A+ paper in the class.
"Good God, I’m pregnant, I wonder who the father is."