this afternoon after a long hard day working in the toll booth I decided to stop at the gas station and buy me a beer. I found two dollars in my wifes purse this morning while she was asleep and i just thought i would celibrate with a cold beer. My old truck is just falling apart and is running realy bad so when i git it cranked up i don't shut it down till I git where i'm going so i just pulled up in front of the BP station and left it running , kinda hoping sombody would just steal it. While i was inside picking out a cold beer somebody got to yelling "fire! fire!' and I looked up and there was a big old cloud of smoke a billowing up right outside. Everybody got to running around and yelling and all in a panic -- problem is it was just my old piece of crap truck. It smokes something terrible and it had smoked up the whole parking lot and seeped under the front doors and set off the smoke alarms. The owner was running around with a fire extignisher and somebody had called 911 and I knew i was in big trouble so I just tok a breath and walked into the cloud, found my truck and drove off. The fire trucks were pulling in just as i got down the street so i gunned it all the way home scared the cops were gonna git me. My old sasquatch of a wife won't give me any money to fix up my truck so this sort of thing is gonna keep happening over and over. What can i do? i ain't got any money and me and my wife hate each other.
The old hag runs to the bank the second it opens on friday morning and takes out all my money. She only gives me enough to buy gas so I can git to work. She won't cook or let me have any of her food -- she feeds that dang poodle dog better food than i git every day. I live in hell and no, i didn't git my beer after all that.

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