I need some advice on this situation with my SIL.
Sorry so long!
My SIL is 22 years old and was renting one side of a small duplex from her mother’s boss for about two years. In June my SIL was fired from her job as an entry level manager / waitress at IHOP because the cash register came up short twice. This last Monday my MIL had to evict my SIL from her duplex because she hadn’t paid rent since June. She also hadn’t paid her cell phone bill and that’s now been disconnected. She didn’t take care of her car so her car engine caught on fire so my MIL bought her another car in July. She loaned her car out to a “friend” a week or so ago and her friend was pulled over for a DWI and the car was impounded. This last Monday along with evicting my SIL my MIL bailed her car out of the impound and found that her registration sticker had been stolen. My MIL paid for my SIL new sticker and found her a storage unit to place her stuff and my SIL moved in with a friend’s mother.
Well now my SIL has called and asked to move in with me. I care about her but she is known to have temper tantrums, she’s extremely lazy and sloppy, smokes and has two cats.
I don’t care for cats and she doesn’t clean their litter box out enough so they end up urinating on her stuff. When she moved into the duplex originally we had to throw out a good amount of her clothes because they smelled of cat urine and on a few items we found cat feces. The clothes were originally stored shoved into the back of a closet from where we had moved her.
She never or rarely cleaned the duplex she was living in. The one time she told me that her boyfriend (a 38 year old man with two children) had come over and cleaned her house and she wanted me to look at it. Her place was in a state where my house had never reached at its worse. Her stove showed signs of cooked on food and boil over, the shower showed signs of where she had shaved her legs, her stuff was shoved into corners etc. I asked her why she didn’t wipe up the mess on her stove before the stuff dried and she responded with “I don’t know”.
I’m not a clean freak but I like a clean house. My mother was a clean freak, people often commented on how you could eat off her floors. I never became that extreme but again, my house is organized and clean.
My fiancé (her brother) is allergic to cigarette smoke and I don’t like living with cats. No offense to people who love cats. I love other people’s cats but I don’t want to live with them.
My fiancé and I are having a house built and in November we will move into it. She wants to come live with us but because of these huge differences between us I’m worried about letting her. I have thought about letting her as long as she is 1) enrolls in a trade school 2) keeps her room clean (didn’t say organized just clean) 3) cleans up after herself and 4) No one allowed at our house without us being there and without our permission. 5) Pay for her own food , utilities and whatever stuff she needs such as laundry soap, shampoo etc OR we come up with a monthly figure that will help cover these items 6) works out a monthly payment plan to pay her mother back for everything she owes
My problem is I don’t think she could stick to these rules and I’m worried about the cats. I have three small dogs already which will be a handful and I don’t know how they will react to having two cats in the house. I also love house plants and from what I have seen in the past with my mother’s cats , cats love house plants too but as a snack.
So any advice? Also please … I’m not trying to get rid of the cats. My preference would be if she does move in, no cats but I can’t be that mean.
Forgot to mention ... she did get another job at a day care as a cook in the middle of July (I think) and now works at HEB part time as well.
My fiance's response when I told him that his sister asked to move in with us as "No! not even No, H*ll no!"