Is my wife is the source of all my troubles?
this afternoon after a long hard day working in the toll booth I decided to stop at the gas station and buy me a beer. I found two dollars in my wifes purse this morning while she was asleep and i just thought i would celibrate with a cold beer. My old truck is just falling apart and is running realy bad so when i git it cranked up i don't shut it down till I git where i'm going so i just pulled up in front of the BP station and left it running , kinda hoping sombody would just steal it. While i was inside picking out a cold beer somebody got to yelling "fire! fire!' and I looked up and there was a big old cloud of smoke a billowing up right outside. Everybody got to running around and yelling and all in a panic -- problem is it was just my old piece of crap truck. It smokes something terrible and it had smoked up the whole parking lot and seeped under the front doors and set off the smoke alarms. The owner was running around with a fire extignisher and somebody had called 911 and I knew i was in big trouble so I just tok a breath and walked into the cloud, found my truck and drove off. The fire trucks were pulling in just as i got down the street so i gunned it all the way home scared the cops were gonna git me. My old sasquatch of a wife won't give me any money to fix up my truck so this sort of thing is gonna keep happening over and over. What can i do? i ain't got any money and me and my wife hate each other.
The old hag runs to the bank the second it opens on friday morning and takes out all my money. She only gives me enough to buy gas so I can git to work. She won't cook or let me have any of her food -- she feeds that dang poodle dog better food than i git every day. I live in hell and no, i didn't git my beer after all that.
 LK DODGE POWER WAGON BRUSH FIRE TRUCK IN NJ US $2,025.01 |
 1972 GMC Tanker C60 366 Motor Fire Truck Fire Tanker US $1,225.00 |
 Chevrolet FIRE TRUCK CHEVY C 65 BOYER HALE PUMP US $1,750.00 |
 GMC Brigadier Fire Truck GMC 2500 gal Pumper 17141 mile 591hr Diesel  US $3,100.00
|
 1971 international fire truck pumper truck US $1,050.00 |
 Ford C807 CLASSIC FORD FIRE TRUCK US $1,025.00
|
Tags: big trouble, bp, bp station, cloud of smoke, cold beer, dang, fire fire, fire trucks, friday morning, front doors, gas station, old hag, parking lot, piece of crap, poodle, poodle dog, purse, sasquatch, toll booth, two dollars
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Really ? you work in a troll booth ?
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
like i totally not gonna read ur long novel. as if!! lol
i have enough of that in like my english class at school
so like i’m gonna answer ur question from what i think u mean. if she is really bothering u, then like ditch her.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
OMG…. tell me that you did NOT run out without getting your beer!?!?
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I wouldn’t say the your wife was the source of your problems, but why don’t you just say up some of your own money from work and either fix your old truck or buy a newer one. If you aren’t getting along with your wife, then by all means call it quits if you feel that the love is gone.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Nope your beer is the source of your problem because you drank so much you forgot that was just a dream.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Yeah, I hope you didn’t forget your beer. That would be the real tragedy here.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
If you and your wife are so unhappy with each other then you need to get a divorce. That is what I did when I was married my first time.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
If you’re letting your wife control you, you need to grow up and grow a pair.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Go to the bank and change your account Number!
Done!
And please put some clothes on!
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
No.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
You are a fat, worthless, ball-less slob.
You are still better than my fiance.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Where did you get a beer for only two bucks?
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
With a diversion like that, you could have stolen a whole 6 pack and some nachos.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Aren’t ALL wives the source of our troubles?
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
you should have put more " cracker" language in your little tale and some spelling mistakes to sound authentic!
I think you overdosed on the " Blue collar comedy"
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I’ve told you..when you are ready to leave her..call me. You are God’s gift to women!
PS. Poodle is fabulous on the grill, with a lil BBQ sauce…yummy!
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
If no one else is, I’m saving all these wonderful stories. I still see a movie deal in the works. This stuff is just to damn funny to be kept on one forum. Come on Herman, lets collaborate on a script.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
call me…..555 YOUR HAWT
I’d love to hear from you.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Eat the dog, steal enough money to buy a gas mask and then park the truck in your living room and keep it running. The smoke should cause her to stop breathing. You’ll be free…
October 9th, 2009 at 9:27 am
The cure-all for this is to have a weenie roast. Wanna come?