He is selfish, should I leave him?
My bf n I have been together for 8mos. We dated for a while 3.5yrs ago, but went on his 1st deployment soon after. We both decided to split b-cuz it wasnt fair to me. We stayed in contact, but moved on. He was deployed 2nd time. Not too long after coming home we got back together. Here's the tricky part. The longer we go on the more i see that he has become a selfish person. He lost his dear truck to a fire before x-mas. By feburary he has another. He's not w/o vehicles. He sold a suped up '72 VW bug and bought a boat. All the while I'm watching him and asking my-self why is he spending all his money on instant gratification instead getting engaged liked we talked about. He's always telling me that he has "things that [he] has to take care of before we can get engaged",i.e bills. But he keeps buying parts etc, for boat, truck and 2 other VWs. It seems like he's trying to keep up with the Jones'.When we argue, he acts like a child, storming off or hanging up on me. Should I leave him?
 1989 SEAGRAVE RA110 AERIAL FIRE TRUCK US $12,000.00 |
 GMC Brigadier Fire Truck GMC 2500 gal Pumper 17141 mile 591hr Diesel  US $3,437.50
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 1971 international fire truck pumper truck US $1,501.00 |
 1984 Kenworth Fire Truck 4000 gallon tanker tender US $10,100.00 |
 1975 Mack CF600 Pumper Fire Truck 6 cylinder Diesel US $1,999.99
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 1957 Mack B21 Fire truck rare US $15,000.00 |
Tags: coming home, deployment, feburary, instant gratification, money, selfish person, vw bug, vws
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
yes he sounds like a damn baby not a boyfriend. and he doesn’t want to get engaged and you do. so kick him to the curb and find someone who wants to get married. believe me, an engagement ring can be bought for cheap if he’s serious. for sure cheaper than car and boats and parts for them. he just doesn’t have the stones to tell you he doesn’t want to get engaged and probably would rather keep sleeping with you and have someone waiting for him when he gets deployed than to be alone. but why should you settle for a life like that? and let’s face it. if he’s military he can buy you a ring on credit at the PX.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
That wont change if it hasn’t already ..What will you do with kids and a selfish hubby? Yes, I would leave him behind and not worry about looking for another man…Let him find you !
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
I would. He doesn’t sound like he’s ready to take on the responsibility of a wife.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
You can do better. Would you want kids to be raised in this envornment? You have to think long term and right know it hasn’t gotten better.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
Yeah, you should leave him he sounds to me like a self centered ass hole who doesn’t care about getting engaged at all. If he is just spending money on random things and not caring about the engagement then you should leave him.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
Unless he is asking you for money you do not have the right to say what he can spend his money on. If he wants to ask you to marry him he will. He will find a way to pay for it just like he does everything else, if thats what he really wants. If you have a problem with him hanging up on you, maybe you should think about what you are saying to make him just want to get away from you. You dont have to believe him but you need to accept the relationship for what it is or move on.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
Leave or stay as you decide, just be aware if it bugs you now it will become worse if you get married. And it will bug you a hundred times more, too.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
run and dont look back
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
Only you can answer that one. But you do know in your gut. Don’t you think you are a more worthwhile person than to be treated this way. You say you want to get engaged so that means marriage, behaviors like these don’t change. He will remain selfish and childish. Do you really want that in your life ? Is this something you would want your future children to see and learn ? You deserve better than this, to me, it seems, he is not ready to get married and instead of telling you verbally he is showing it by his actions. If you are ready for a committed relationship then I think you need to find a way to move on and find someone who wants the same as you, the same goals, same value system etc. Best of luck to you.
January 15th, 2010 at 4:40 am
He does not want to marry.